Lost and Punished

Feeling lost.

Like I’m a disappointment, and a failure.

I’ve followed all the instructions as far as I am able, living my life as society expects me to. Colouring within the lines and keeping my head down.

I work full time for someone else’s profit. In a job that I’m comfortable in but that doesn’t pay well.

I pay my bills and taxes. I put my earnings back into the economy to keep it ticking over.

I’m doing what the prevailing culture expects and asks of me.

So why do I feel like I’m being punished?


Changes are coming.

I mean it this time. Things are going to change around here, and the biggest changes will be the erasure of the archive of this blog.

If there is anything from here that you specifically want to have access to after February 20th let me know, or copy/pasta it into a savable document. This blog, and what remains of its past will disappear on the 20th, meaning that anything in the archives will be gone forever (I’ll have backups ofc but it will not be publicly accessible on the web).

The blog has not seen a lot of love recently. I put it down to not having a specific thing to blog about, topic to pursue, or project to update progress on. This changes on the 20th February 2016.

I’m embarking on a new project and will be using this website, in a revamped form, to promote it and post about it. Watch this space.


We Shouldn’t Leave the EU

We shouldn’t leave the EU. Any arguments for doing so are terminally short-term in nature. The argument for staying isn’t.

Continue reading We Shouldn’t Leave the EU

We Are All Dead

We are all dead,
And yet are told we live.
We do not have,
Any fucks left to give. Continue reading We Are All Dead

The Great Beast

Short fiction piece from my journal – Vol 6 – pg 51-53 – 11/06/2015

The great beast heaves and groans, giving an impression of huge forces at rest, barely contained. Its shining sinews glisten with the sweat exuded to ease the behemoth’s motions. The plates of its flanks, each taller than a man, slide over each other smoothly, with only the occasional squeal or percussive clank to reveal their metallic construction and the beast breathes with a low rhythmic growl. Continue reading The Great Beast

Feeding the Monster

Journal Transcription – Vol 6 – P 49-50 – 10/06/2015

I’m not living the life that I want to, but then who is?

At least I’m living. Continue reading Feeding the Monster

Thoughts About God

With reference to this FB thread

Assigning God a gender belittles the concept.

Here’s what I, a self identified atheist, believe. Some of what follows could be wrong, heretical, blasphemous, or all three, depending on your point of view. Fair warning. (It could also be considered slightly mental. It’s certainly not a mainstream belief system that I’ve encountered): Continue reading Thoughts About God

You may have noticed some changes…

Changes Indeed. I’m repurposing my blog again and simply going to fill it with whatever I feel like writing. Be that essays discussing what I’m reading. Interesting things I’ve been thinking about. Or whatever. Anything goes really.

This is more to exercise my muscles and get into the habit of typing again and keeping a blog up.

I’m determined to post something every day. I’ve noticed that I’ve been filling comment threads on FB with walls of text and thought I should channel that into something less… I dunno… ephemeral.

I have my Moleskines, full of rambling scribblings. I’ve been writing three or four (more often more) pages daily for more than a year now and have 5 volumes with the 6th just begun. So there’s plenty of material.

Previous posts are still there, you just have to dig through the categories on the left for them.

So, onward…


PS: I have made it known that I plan to write a book, I may reveal something of the thinking that is going into it here, so pay attention.

OK, Two Books Then…

I said in the first post after the redesign (available here) that I had the shape of a book in my head and it was going to be non-fiction. I’m not sure if this announcement is a good idea or not but I have the foundations of another possible book forming and this one is fiction.

The fiction work is more daunting as I’m going to have to do some pretty serious research so that it doesn’t clash with the existing canon of the setting. This is going to be interesting. Hopefully I can compartmentalise them so that I don’t end up with bits of one appearing in the other.

Will be posting progress updates and thoughts around the process or writing books so stay tuned. Maybe I’ll see at least one of them to completion this time…

M out